


things left in pawn

by desdemona_1996_writes



Series: broken love, [3]
Category: Rumbelle - Fandom, ouat
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Begging, Breakup Sex, Dirty Talk, F/M, Hate Sex, Love/Hate, Makeup Sex, Rough Sex, Rumbelle - Freeform, Rumbelle AU - Freeform, Sex in the back of mr gold's shop, angsty sex, counter top sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-28 04:36:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10823883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/desdemona_1996_writes/pseuds/desdemona_1996_writes
Summary: every morning she passes his pawn shop on her way to work.and every morning as she passesshe sees her engagement ring in the window.re-edited/reworked.





	things left in pawn

**Author's Note:**

> written and posted awhile ago, I took it down B/C it needed a little more editing/reworking done.took me awhile to get back to this one. lol it kind of got lost in my drifts with all my unfinished WIPs for awhile.

every morning I had to pass by his shop to get to my library.  
every morning I walked by  
his shop window with my head  
held high. I could have went around the building. maybe. but I wasn't going to hide from him. this was a little town and I couldn't avoid him. unfortunately,  
no.I'd do the brave thing and face him head on unlike everyone else in this town he didn't scare me.  
in fact! I knew what the menacing  
mr gold feared the most rodents and being alone. well, he'd have  
to live with that one. 

I did love him. once..maybe a small part of me still did. but I had ended our engagement 3-weeks ago  
after another round of our ineffectual quarrels. I'd actually fling the ring back in face! cursing him and wishing him a lifetime of loneliness. 

i can't say that the words hurt me to say. they didn't. I was surprised to find I felt nothing in that moment.

I was gratified by the look of brokenness in his expression when he realized that I wouldn't be asking for his forgiveness. that I wouldn't be taking him back. as I turned and stomp out the door I heard him call my name. near begging for me to forgive him. I couldn't. I wouldn't, 

 

on Sunday morning, I walked by his pawn shop on my way to the library. like just about everything in this town the library was closed on Sunday's as was his pawn shop. I was on my way to the library hoping to spend my quiet morning re-cataloging  
the travel section of the library.  
when I glanced in the window of his shop seeing my engagement ring on display! he'd put it for sale! the ring he claimed he bought just for me.  
he was selling it. it was petty, displaying it like this so that I would of course see it! did he think it would hurt me? hardly, seeing the little reminder of what...of what we almost were.did nothing but infuriate me!  
I walked on to my library with my head held high not even shedding  
a tear. 

on Monday morning, I passed his shop as usual on my way to the library my head held high my eyes betraying me only for a moment. glancing in his display window to see my ring still siting there sparkling in the sunlight. I walked on my gaze not straying any further. 

 

Tuesday morning, I hurriedly walked past his shop. I was running late  
and didn't have time to play his little games. 

my whole day was off..everything  
I seem to do was wrong..I was off.  
my mind was filled with dark thoughts. remembering our past together and the dark path that lead us here. i couldn't even recognize this thing between us. this ugliness that had once been love.

I did love him once. didn't I?  
before it all went to hell I loved him.  
despite his cold demeanor  
his snide remarks and the way his calculating eyes looked at everyone else in this town except when those dark eyes looked at me.they were warm and filled with..something  
I thought was love.after spending far to much time thinking about that horrible man I needed to stay late at the library and catch up on some of the work I had been failing to do properly all morning. 

it was later that night that I walked home passing his shop on my way home. the lights were still on despite the lateness of the hour. the little sign on the door said closed but..I wondered.I thought briefly about stepping inside and...seeing him  
just for a moment.  
i only wanted to know one thing.  
just one question left to ask him. when the sparkling of my ring caught my attention. it was of course still siting there in the window.  
mocking me. his sneaky underhanded way of reminding me of what I'd given up. seeing my ring with the knowledge of his ill intent filled with me such indignation.  
and hate! I never thought I would ever hate him as much as I did then. turning on my heel I walked home that was the last time I would ever again think of my past romantic entanglement with the loathsome  
mr gold. 

 

Wednesday morning, I walked my usual path to the library the sky was cloudy and gray. it would probably rain this afternoon. I stopped in front of his shop and found myself staring at what was once mine.losing myself in thoughts of what might have been. when a shadow of movement inside his shop shattered my dazed stare. he was no doubt watching me with that smug grin of his. satisfied with his provoking tactics. waiting patiently for me to pass by every morning the realization infuriate me and I was more then a little unnerved by just how well he knew me. 

If it wasn't exactly what he wanted.  
I'd march in there and tell him  
he was being egotistical and petty. but..that's what he was expecting me to do and I'll be damned if I'll ever let him manipulate me again. 

it rained that afternoon, heavy rain darkening the sky. the library was empty having been that way all morning. usually on rainy days  
I'd sit by the window with  
a hot cup of tea and read for hours watching the rain fall but.  
today my thoughts are troubled.  
and no matter how hard I try to bury the painful memory's today they won't sleep. keeping me still as  
I stared out the windows of the library clutching my sweater tightly around myself as I watched the rain fall remembering every hurtful word. every argument. all the truly painful moments eclipsing our tender love for each other. I loved him once,  
so much more then I had ever loved anyone. I let my love for him consume me he was the center of my world and..I wasn't his.  
he loved me I know that he loved me as much as he could but it wasn't a enough.I wasn't enough, nothing and no one would ever be enough.  
what he craved. what he needed,  
I couldn't give him. and what  
I wanted most he was unwilling  
to give. after months of heartache our brake up was a relief. it was a brake from all the pain that had darken and harden my heart.  
I was free from all that darkness  
we'd been dwelling in. moving on wasn't as painful as staying had been in the end I was better off apart from him and all that darkness he surrounds himself in. braking our engagement was the right thing  
to do. 

 

the brave thing to do,

 

Thursday, this was odd?  
as I was passing his shop on my way to the library only glancing at my ring in passing. I noticed that the sign said closed it was darker inside more so then usual. biting my lip  
I hesitated then tried the door  
it was locked? every morning  
he opened his shop precisely at 9:00am. while the library opened  
at 10:00 am the shop never failed to open on time it was 9:45am and  
and his shop was closed for business..this was more then a little odd he could be to sick to leave his house..or away. maybe i should..no,  
I shook myself away from the thought he was most likely doing something shady. scheming to win me back since his game wasn't playing out like he wanted it to. or just maybe not everything was about me and his shop not being opened on a Thursday had nothing to do with me. turning to stare at my ring again an odd feeling twisting in the pit of my stomach something was wrong. shaking away from whatever it was that was bothering me  
I walked on to my library. 

 

on Friday it was back to normal. apparently, he was clearly opened today even has a customer.whatever irregularity yesterday had been today was back to business as usual.  
I walked on without even so much as glancing at my ring. progress,  
I hoped despite feeling that odd twisting in my gut. 

that night after an uneventful day.  
I locked up the library for the night. turning my head I noticed the lights still on in his shop even though  
he should have closed an hour ago. knowing that he was still there. waiting for something or nothing  
infuriate me. it was irrational I knew that. but, it irritated me knowing that he was there! that he was appearingly ok after I almost  
let myself care.he apparently didn't. he didn't give a damn about me!  
or the state of our relationship  
this was all just a game to him.  
some stupid little game to entrain himself with. hurting me for having the audacious to leave him! 

in a blind rage I took off my shoe and threw it at his display window!  
it didn't even put a crack in the glass. it made a loud thumping sound I'm sure he heard it I was so angry that I didn't care. I was shaking as I limped on wearing only one heel to retrieved my shoe glaring at the reflection in the glass as I put on my shoe. this had to stop, I was done playing along with his nonsense. I walked away in huff.

on Saturday I spent the day  
in my pajamas reading  
withering Heights and watching a marathon of law & order.  
it was a quiet Saturday afternoon  
the kind we use to enjoy together.  
in the evening after our work day was done I'd go over to his place he'd open a bottle of red wind and we sit by the fireplace and talk.  
we'd talk about everything and nothing at the same time.  
what happened to those people? they were in love, they trusted each other. I can't even remember the last time we actually done that.  
just talk. just like everything else between us now it was tainted..

on Sunday i took the day off,  
I didn't even venture into town I usually spent my Sunday mornings in the library reorganizing not today.  
today I just needed to be. just for awhile I needed to clear my head of all the distorted thoughts I'd been having of late. it was a quiet  
uneventful.sunday I needed that.  
I knew of course what Monday would bring.

 

on Monday morning I walked into his shop. I couldn't put it off any longer. 

my heart beat wildly in my chest as  
I walked on shaky legs my whole body screaming to turn around and go back home and never return.  
I paused..looking at my engagement ring in the window remembering  
the night he give it to me. remembering the moment I returned it..he had no right to sell it!  
steeling myself I walked into his territory the bell chimed announcing my entrance. 

he stood behind his counter staring down at a object he was fiddling with when he looked up at me. 

it was the first time I had laid eyes on him since our brake up.he looked  
the same as he did that day.  
not a hair out of place his 3-pice suit perfectly pressed. he looked just as handsome as ever.

he gazed up at me for a moment  
his eyes were filled with hopeful affection and that look held me captive. for a brief moment  
we stood motionless looking at each other both unable to make the first move and then as it had been through out our whole relationship  
i was the one who made the first move. i march up to him his eyes suddenly turning cold. emotionless. 

 

"afternoon, dearie." he said with  
the satisfied smile of a man who just won the carefully crafted game he'd been playing. 

his words stung and he knew it.  
he called every else in this town 'dearie' but never me. he always said my name breathlessly. desperate. and in our most inmate moments  
I was sweetheart never dearie.  
he knew it would hurt me. mr gold always knew how to use his  
sharp tongue as a weapon.  
knew just how to inflict the right amount of pain.

 

"how much? I demanded. 

"how much, for what dearie please do be more specific? he said  
eyes gleaming.

"don't, I'm not here to play games  
with you. you know for what."  
I managed to say evenly. 

 

"oh, that I'm sorry but I believe that you couldn't afford." he replied with a smug grin. 

"no, no more games. don't toy with me gold! how much? I asked.

he looked down at his hands.  
his expression unreadable.

"$13,990.00." he said finally  
looking at me.

 

"that's a lot." I muttered. 

"only sightly less then I paid,  
but I had to discount it as it is sightly used." he said with something  
in his tone.

he was choosing his words very carefully. picking the ones that would cause the most pain. the most damage. 

"your a real bastard you know that."  
I stated coolly. 

he smiled smugly.

"you know, you could have it free of charge. of course." he replied. 

"everything comes with strings attached with you. doesn't it."  
I replied. 

he grinned in reply. 

with a sigh, I removed my neckless. it was the only possession of  
any value I owned. it was my mother's neckless. and it was all  
I had left of her. 

"vey well I like to pawn this then."  
I said meeting his gleaming eye. 

"why? he asked. his eyes pleading.

"because,it's mine." I said simply.

"are you sure about this."  
he said shaking his head. 

"please,don't just don't." 

nodding, he turned to retrieve my ring from the display window.

slowly walking back to me with the little velvet box in his hands. 

"why,why? did you...how could you have done that to me." I asked. 

he just shrugged his shoulders  
and placed the velvet box down on the counter top.

"because I'am a bastard." he said looking at me in that way that always made my legs weak. 

damn those eyes! grabbing him by his necktie I pulled him to me kissing him with all the frustration and longing I'd been filled with since  
he started this whole damn thing! 

the feel of his lips on mine  
the familiar sensation making me ache with need for him. when he pulled away his hands resting on my hips. "belle." he breathe. 

I smiled teasingly.shoving him away from me. he grinned that smug grin of his igniting the fire between us.

"you want me on my knees."  
he bent before me looking longingly up at me as his hands slowly moved up my legs.

"no."'I rasp my breathe catching  
in my throat. 

"for you, I'd kneel at your feet.  
for you alone." he rasp. 

panting, my fingers threading through his soft long hair as his lips gently kissed my legs. slowly working his up my thighs  
while his own fingers began to pull down my underwear.  
pushing him back.I stepped out of little fabric. grabbing him again by his necktie I led him behind  
the counter hopping onto  
the counter top. I quickly fumbled to unbuckle his belt. taking my hands  
in his he removed them from their task.he gently kissed my wrists looking at me with those gleaming dark eyes of his. I could lose myself so easily in those damn eyes. 

"no, don't you dare be gentle  
with me." I said demandingly. 

he smiled then pushed my skirt up.

"whatever you want, my sweetheart. I'm yours to command." he said in a  
mocking tone. 

grabbing him by his necktie.  
I wrapped the delicate silk around my hand pulling him closer till our foreheads meet. 

"kiss me" I demanded. 

making an unintelligible sound  
he captured my lips in  
a bruising kiss. I moaned contently against his mouth my hand gripping his necktie. he began to pull away from me braking the kiss  
I held him to me nipping  
at his bottom lip with my teeth.  
I heard the sound of him unbuckling his belt and pulling his zipper down. my heart fluttered with anticipation  
as he pulled my skirt further up my waist quickly wrapping my legs around him.i was more then ready for him. I moaned as he filled me.  
he thrusted inside me and I cried out  
it had been so long since we last.. since I felt this utter need for him.

he pounded into me. fucking me so hard jostling the table with his forceful thrust the table making a annoying rattling sound. his rugged breathe against my neck was making me dizzy. pulling on his long hair  
I quickly came muttering.  
"don't, stop dot...

"that's it, take it. take it."  
he mumbled as he thrusted harder and harder into me. making me scream as we both climaxed. 

breathing heavily, he pulled away from me those cold dark eyes were filled with warm emotion as he bent down pulling his pants back up avoiding my glaze. 

I couldn't move, my whole body was still shaking from my intense orgasm.  
as I struggled to pull down my skirt his uncertain eyes finally met mine. both at a loss for anything to say.  
we adjusted our clothing in silence.

after everything..we both just continued to stare at each other.  
neither, sure what to say. 

damn those eyes! how dare he  
even look at me like that! with that hurt expression. as I gathered my discarded underwear and my ring  
I turned to look at him. he was retying his necktie i couldn't really tell what his thoughts were as always he hide his true feelings away behind a wall he'd built years ago refusing to let me in. even after all this..he still couldn't let me in.

shaking my in irritation. I finally turned to leave. I was done playing this game. when I reached the door  
I suddenly stopped and looked back at him.

 

"I don't think you ever grasp just how much I truly loved you,  
you can't understand it can you?  
i said braking the silence between us.

he looked up at me about to reply  
when I stormed out the door. suddenly not ready to hear it.  
not yet. I still loved him, and he loved me. but it wasn't enough. there was still so much between us. so much more that we needed to work through. and the question I still needed to ask before I could forgive him. but did it really matter?  
when in that moment it was all to easy to forget why I was there.  
why I couldn't forgive him. 

I had already pawned my heart,

we were a mess, there were no easy fixes. no magic words to put right what went so wrong between us.  
so long as there's love there's hope. isn't that what all the fairy tail stories taught us.

[it's always darkest before the dawn] 

unfortunately.in the harsh light of day darkness still lingers. no,  
there are no easy answers to be found in fairy tails.in the real world love is hard. and once tested.  
it could brake. be undone as if it never existed. some wounds can't be healed the question I have to ask him as well as myself is.  
is there any coming back from this? is there still something worth fighting for? I still love him,  
and he loves me I know that.  
I've always known that. but is love truly enough. 

by the time I reached the library doors I realized that I was crying.  
I hadn't cried since that night.  
the night I ended our engagement.  
this was far from over I'd eventually have to face him again. and maybe then I'll be able to give him the chance to explain to ask for  
forgiveness maybe I could ask  
the same.

we were broken, we'd broken  
our own hearts with hateful words. maybe.simple words could put them back together. maybe. I still believed in fairy tails. in a world of happily ever after.

**Author's Note:**

> -William Blake, Broken Love-
> 
> ‘And throughout all Eternity  
> I forgive you, you forgive me.


End file.
